Academic Research

Over the last decade, the online dating industry has achieved mainstream acceptance. Unfortunately, most online daters still find the online dating experience disappointing. Only 1 in 4 users report being satisfied with online personals sites (Jupiter Research, 2005) and many are concerned about safety of online dating (PEW, 2006). When singles meet on a first date, they are often disillusioned (Frost & Norton, 2007), with women in particular facing disappointment (Bryner, 2007). The probability of finding a meaningful long term relationship on a dating site remains low, even on sites claiming "scientific validity" (Thompson et al., 2005).

Recently, a consortium of researchers from Harvard University, Duke University and M.I.T. investigated ways to improve online dating. Their recommendation: Virtual Dating.

Virtual dating helps daters build common experiences. Getting to know each other in a virtual environment before meeting in person helps singles adjust their expectations to realistic levels: "Virtual dates allow people to try each other on to see whether they fit with each other, simulating their lives together before they ever meet" (Frost et al., 2008). Dr. Jeana Frost further explains: "Virtual dating forces people to react to what’s happening around them, similar to a real date, and people can get to know each other in a more in-depth way." 

Virtual dating causes people to like each other more when they meet in-person. "Virtual dates cause individuals to develop greater affinity toward one another when they actually meet" (Frost et al., 2006). Other studies have also found that computer-mediated communication leads to more liking of each other, as compared to face-to-face initial meetings (McKenna et al., 2002), and can be even more effective than in-person interaction at early stages of a relationship, as it facilitates more self-disclosure and personal questions (e.g., Bargh et al., 2002; Joinson, 2001; Tidwell & Walther, 2006), thus advancing the discovery process.

People who go on virtual dates first have more successful in-person dates (Frost et al., 2008). Since virtual dating facilitates the early discovery process and helps singles uncover areas of mutual interest and commonality, when they meet in person they are no longer meeting a complete stranger. Moreover, virtual dating takes care of the safety concerns that prevent many people from meeting in person on the first place (Scientific American, 2007). "A study by researchers at Harvard and Duke showed that couples who go on virtual dates before a face-to-face date are two times more likely to go on a second date with a person." (MSNBC, 2008).

Bottom line, virtual dating improves online dating experience and creates real-life relationships.